In Solidarity Sister!

I don't know if any of you have joined the Students Union? It's hard sometimes to feel part of a student body when you are literally miles apart. Apropos of nothing, I thought I would post about a fellow student, Sophie Scholl. Some of you may know of her, some not. She wasn't a student at Middlesex, she studied at the Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich. Sophie, along with her brother, Hans, was convicted of treason for distributing anti war leaflets on campus. Like the victims of the Kent State massacre in 1970, she and her brother also died. They were guillotined. The year was 1943.

As part of my career, I have often been a dissident of some sort. Being a woman, being a woman of colour, having and stating an opinion; all of these things, in some places and times, would have caused me great problems and put my life, let alone my liberty in danger. Indeed, they still might in some parts of the world. The fact that I enjoy the freedoms which are a touchstone for me, has literally been paid for by the blood of others. Every day, therefore, it behoves me to be brave. To say what I believe to be true and to take chances, rather than walk the safer path, in my thinking and writing that is. Sadly, I'm still not a superhero and when my pants are worn outside my tights, it's by accident, not part of my costume.

This course is an intellectual challenge. We must think for ourselves and create new paths, that others may follow and build on the work we do. We are making history and our opportunities must not be squandered.

Prior Learning Skype Tutorial

So pleased it was a 'cameras off' Skype tutorial. Tired. In my pyjamas. Not used to thinking constructively this early in the morning; I'm usually on autopilot. I see why regular students don't get to lectures. Although, most of them have come from school, so are more prepared.

We talked about Areas Of Learning essays and what they should contain. Once again, I'm a little shaken by the enormity of what I have agreed to undertake. Hopefully, at some point, I shall feel less so. Funny what you end up discussing. The psychology of being a backing singer. Something I understand acutely, as band politics are often like walking a tightrope. Now I need to get my head around it as something I have actually learned. Of course I have and now I shall document it as a valid area of study. It is, after all, knowledge that can be passed on. Finding academic references might be tricky, though. I shall do my best to look around. Tried Google Scholar to no real avail, but sometimes it's about learning to ask the right questions. I'm sure there'll be music journos who have written on the subject. That would be a start.

Let's see what I can pull together. I haven't written much more than emails in so long. I think I may enjoy unlocking the muse once again. Soon find out!

Help!

Module One Skype Sesh

I was asked to write about why blogs are important. Up until a few days ago, I felt they were a giant waste of time, especially my time. All seemed a bit too touchy feely - I'm notoriously bad at 'sharing', unless it's just sharing my opinion. I still struggle to read the long ones; even with the wizard 'read it for you' software, I still need the 'pay attention' software. However, when writing, I've managed to look at it like a scaled up Facebook post - something I also have to do which sometimes irritates. So, I'm trying to make sense, say what I mean, yet remain concise. I do the rambling and moaning in my Reflective Journal.

And so, why did I change my opinion somewhat? A couple of days ago there was another Skype session on knowing and learning. I wrote my blog quite quickly, so my reflections were immediate. I didn't read what anybody else had written first, so it contained only what had stayed with me personally. Then I read Helen's blog and commented after Jesse. This lead me to reading his blog, which, fortunately, contained all the information I had forgotten. I left a comment, explaining I, too, had looked up the new word 'ideokinetic'. I made a barely thought out comment and had a lightbulb moment. "Aha, that's why we do it!" The circle was squared, it all became clear, the scales fell from my eyes and various other tired analogies. The process had brought me to a point of understanding which would have evaded me, had I not been required to participate.

Further to this, Adesola explained that our blogs serve as source material for the Module One essay. They provide a commentary and document progress as we go further into this term's enquiry. States of mind, thoughts and ideas that otherwise may have been forgotten or overlooked are laid down and provide a sort of road map of our learning. Still struggling with the contemporary notion of 'learning' being a thing and not an action. It's a process.

I forwent my Jazz Tap class to join in. Somehow I didn't regret it. Hmmm...

Thoughts On Knowing And Learning, Post Skype

Most of this evening's conversation was about language. How we use language to describe our practice and thus explain it to others. We touched on academic language and how it might differ from that which we usually use to describe things. It was agreed, broadly, that there is academic convention and this is something we would have to honour in form, at least. However, I felt that as we are post graduate students, it behoves us to begin to find our own definitions of what such language could be. We can change it. We can make our own impact on what has gone before, both in terms of an agreed body of knowledge and the language used to describe it. I do not fear forging my own path, I merely have to make the argument that this path is both right and worthwhile.

When we write as academics, we are largely addressing other academics. I gather that is part of the convention. Therefore, does what we write need to be useful to those outside the halls of academe? Is this a purely internal dialogue? I would say yes and no. In that we are adding to a body of knowledge that, together, may unlock further ideas, then yes. However, as we are seeking to describe our own practice with reference to its effect on, or communication with others, then no. In short, as I come to verbalise what it is I do, my understanding and effectiveness may well grow as a result. This would be particularly useful when I teach. Having the language at hand, instead of trying to reach for it, could shorten the process. All conjecture, of course.

We didn't talk too much about learning. My theory is that learning is both active and passive. As we interact with the world, we cannot help but learn new things. This I would call passive learning. Active learning is, for me, when I pick up a book, go to a class, or just ask a question and receive or search out a response. It was agreed that learning changes us in some way, even if we are not aware of this.

Forgive me if there were other things which I have now forgotten. Forgive me for all that I do not know or understand.

Forgive.

In Answer To 'Beginnings'

I work in popular music. Subtlety and nuance are often wasted on an audience who may, themselves, be wasted. The idea of quietly waiting and fading to silence is largely unknown. It's loud, it's rowdy. Subtlety and nuance are what is explored away from the public. Songwriting, recording and video representation are where subtlety and nuance come into play. Thus, beginning a performance is loud and brash and, possibly, shouty. Very much an energetic beginning. Crashing straight in. The official beginning for me is when I arrive at a venue. Typically, this will be at least two to three hours before I am onstage. I breathe a sigh of relief, "made it". I put down my bags and prepare for soundcheck. And the effective beginning? That would be after the first or second song, when I address the audience and welcome them. From this point onwards, there is a set list, but we are unscripted. I can begin to change the feel of the performance to react to the audience's response. In short, I can effect a change that affects the audience, in response to their affect.

This beginning at Middlesex is once again fraught with administrative hurdles. Nothing is simple. Though I am sure with kindness, therapy and possibly some training, somebody somewhere may press the right button. It could even be me... The effective beginning came after the first Skype session, when I wrote my blog post and started to write my journal. For me there will also be another beginning. An organisational beginning, when the routine has set in and I know when and where I am going to sit down to work and think. My life is a kind of rolling chaos, very reactive, so it takes some work to restore a modicum of order. This week the day I had set aside to work was eaten into by an early gig I needed to attend, supporting friends on a new project. As most music business happens by unexpected encounters, it is important to attend. It is work.

I have been teaching for a few years. I only do one regular session a week now. I teach vocals and performance to adults using mental health services. When we begin a new term, we have a different set of people each time. Some may come back and attend regularly, some may not attend regularly and some only sporadically. Therefore, what we do differs from week to week. At the end of term we put on a live gig, showcasing the new music we have created together. Beginnings are something we do all the time, as continuity is hard to hold on to. The participants and their moods are constantly in flux. Somehow we muddle through and at the end of a ten week term, we produce and perform four or five original songs to an audience of friends, family and supporters. Together with other parts of the project and other sessions, there is a whole evening's entertainment.

That's it for beginnings. I find I am at the end.