In Answer To 'Beginnings'

I work in popular music. Subtlety and nuance are often wasted on an audience who may, themselves, be wasted. The idea of quietly waiting and fading to silence is largely unknown. It's loud, it's rowdy. Subtlety and nuance are what is explored away from the public. Songwriting, recording and video representation are where subtlety and nuance come into play. Thus, beginning a performance is loud and brash and, possibly, shouty. Very much an energetic beginning. Crashing straight in. The official beginning for me is when I arrive at a venue. Typically, this will be at least two to three hours before I am onstage. I breathe a sigh of relief, "made it". I put down my bags and prepare for soundcheck. And the effective beginning? That would be after the first or second song, when I address the audience and welcome them. From this point onwards, there is a set list, but we are unscripted. I can begin to change the feel of the performance to react to the audience's response. In short, I can effect a change that affects the audience, in response to their affect.

This beginning at Middlesex is once again fraught with administrative hurdles. Nothing is simple. Though I am sure with kindness, therapy and possibly some training, somebody somewhere may press the right button. It could even be me... The effective beginning came after the first Skype session, when I wrote my blog post and started to write my journal. For me there will also be another beginning. An organisational beginning, when the routine has set in and I know when and where I am going to sit down to work and think. My life is a kind of rolling chaos, very reactive, so it takes some work to restore a modicum of order. This week the day I had set aside to work was eaten into by an early gig I needed to attend, supporting friends on a new project. As most music business happens by unexpected encounters, it is important to attend. It is work.

I have been teaching for a few years. I only do one regular session a week now. I teach vocals and performance to adults using mental health services. When we begin a new term, we have a different set of people each time. Some may come back and attend regularly, some may not attend regularly and some only sporadically. Therefore, what we do differs from week to week. At the end of term we put on a live gig, showcasing the new music we have created together. Beginnings are something we do all the time, as continuity is hard to hold on to. The participants and their moods are constantly in flux. Somehow we muddle through and at the end of a ten week term, we produce and perform four or five original songs to an audience of friends, family and supporters. Together with other parts of the project and other sessions, there is a whole evening's entertainment.

That's it for beginnings. I find I am at the end.