Looking For Ideas

Two days ago I had the opportunity to go to an introduction class to Feldenkrais Method. On more than one occasion, granted maybe only two, I have wondered what it was all about. I thought perhaps it might be akin to Alexander Technique, as it was being offered by the Musicians Union. It's there in the back of my mind that I need ideas for my inquiry, so a bit of exploration is on the cards.

Perhaps it has more resonance if you're injured, or have some movement impairment, or are looking for a solution, or just want to believe. I'm not a believer in anything except keeping your skepticism in a handy pocket. Lying on the floor on a thin piece of foam makes my backside numb. It's not comfortable. My fault, I should have got up and walked around. As usual, when I complain about something, all the others find their voices. Not just me then. I did the exercises too quickly. I zoned out through boredom. MY BUM HURT!! I understand slowing a movement down helps you deconstruct it, but it took too long and we did the same thing too many times.

I asked a few questions at the end. I will make an effort to read a little about Feldenkrais. The explanation sounded a bit like Mindfulness, I said. Apparently, Mindfulness was invented (she may have said developed) by a Feldenkrais practitioner. Of course it was, I said, as skeptic. Just what the world needs, a faith-based movement practice. "It's not faith-based!" "But you believe it works. The very definition!" It's not for me.

I didn't do any research beforehand, but even a cursory glance at Wikipedia leads you to the conclusion their claims don't stand up. All I can say is, if people will pay you for classes, good luck to you! Personally, I've sucked too many eggs by now to keep having someone teach me.

By the way, if anyone knows of any more of these movement practices as complementary therapies, I'd be interested in the tip. I started Yoga as a child, as my dad did it. I've tried Alexander Technique when I did youth theatre and it seemed legit. There must be more of them.

Post Skype - Communicating Ideas

There were two things I took away from this session. The first was focus, or lack thereof. I was struggling to pay attention. I have an awful lot going on in my life at the moment and couldn't help feeling my time would've been better spent elsewhere. Too late, I was in. The second thing was what I said when I was required to speak. I talked about the RPL essays and how I have never before been required to back up what I said from traceable sources. I understand entirely why this is done, but in all honesty, find it incredibly tiresome. It stops me writing. It stops me progressing. I don't enjoy it at all. It feels pedestrian to have to constantly find a source for an idea I know to be true. Will I get used to it? I may become resigned to it.

I scribbled in my journal and realised I hadn't done so for two weeks. Listening to others, I feel there's something I'm missing. To me it's a chore. Perhaps I just don't have the time. And blogging? I have writing to do, I don't have time for this. I understand it's supposed to help. Back in February, I had a revelation. I blogged about it and just read it back, but whatever was so apparent then, escapes me now. Is it supposed to engender community? Fortunately, I have studied dance, otherwise I really wouldn't make sense of the conversation or get the references. But I'm not a dancer. I'm not part of the community.

Perhaps it's a bridge too far.

Peeved.

Post Skype - Reflection And Ethical Considerations

Skype discussion this evening, which I only just made, as my iPad keeps logging me out of Skype - gee thanks! Reflection didn't seem to get a whole lot of time, but perhaps that was my selective attention. I also had to take a call, so may have missed a few minutes. I'm sure I must reflect on my performances, but instinctively know what I should've done better and hold that. Not especially interested in other people's views. I get instant audience reaction, so 'notes' hold no real power for me. Reviews I try not to read anyway. The music business is not like the theatre, where you get helpful 'notes' from the director. I'm the director. If something goes wrong, it's my job to cover. People I respect may tell me if they really liked something, but in my world of fragile egos, nobody would ever tell you what you did wrong...a second time, anyway. I am, of course, my biggest critic, so try not to hold on to the bad stuff, as it could totally undermine the next performance. My mind is constantly churning all the poor decisions I've ever made in my life. It's not useful to add fuel to the fire.

And so on to ethics. My career is practically built on the moral high ground. There are plenty of people who can write and sing love songs, as it's a universal feeling. Unless you're a sociopath or a psychopath, of course, but they tend to have other careers. In my lyrics and my actions I have campaigned against racism, rape, apartheid, greedy landlords and gentrification. And Tories. But that's a given. If I suddenly were to go against or ignore my previous 'truths', I would lose my place in the business and also the world. Ethics are at the very core of what I do as a songwriter, performer and activist. Without my ideals, my ethics, I am just another woman singing about love in the same old way. I have no problem with love songs and I do write them, but I also seek to address the entire human condition from my standpoint. After this, as I said in the Skype meeting (what do you call it?), there are other ethical considerations. Where to play gigs, which countries to visit, which companies to work for, which publications to speak to. Do you embrace the beast and spit in his eye? Sometimes. It's a moral tightrope.

For example, I was DJing on the west coast of the US last year the day after (yet another) mass shooting. I spoke to the audience, expressing my disbelief at their gun laws and then played an acoustic lyrical-rewrite of a well known civil rights song. Afterwards, the audience applauded. It was the right thing to do, whether it baited the NRA supporters or not. Not the best version ever, but the right version at the right time.

Listen here, if you wish:  https://youtu.be/p1daKanRE54

There was also a brief discussion of ethics in teaching. I'm clear on what is important for me. I can't imagine anyone would employ me thinking their ethical code would supersede my own. I like to think I am employed because of, rather than in spite of who I am. As with dance, to be good at music you must practice. It's said it takes 10,000 hours to become a competent musician. So, it's not easy and you can always improve. A current over-used phrase is 'being the best version of yourself'. As a goal for an artist, that is it. My mantra to my students is, "music is work - the harder you work, the more fun you'll have". I don't expect my students, many of whom are unwell, to be brilliant. I do, however, expect 100% effort. I believe firmly that people rise to expectation. My tears when they give me all 100% confirm my faith in them.

In short: reflection - nein danke, ethics - a big yes from me.

Sunday Skype - Frameworks And Theories

For me this Skype session was alright. Not really of great interest. Not every discussion is. I don't mind that. However, when you attend a class that doesn't really engage you, you just go home. Here, of course, I'm obliged to offer my reflection. Inevitably, dance not being my art form, I didn't identify with the notion of the theory. I did offer a couple of interjections, but not from my own practice. The subject, frameworks and theories, with regard to what I do, is still a mystery really. I'm not sure at all how it relates to me. Understanding may come. There is no over-arching technique. There are style choices, but that's all. Perhaps it's not even relevant to what I do.

One strand of discussion was about the participation of adolescents in dance. Whether the fall off during early teenage years was due to peer pressure, reigning in societal norms. Well, since music is an absolute sausage fest anyway, societal norms are still almost never broken. Women participate in music largely as singers, or playing the gender appropriate instruments such as keyboard, saxophone, violin and guitar. No eyebrows are ever raised at female keyboard players. With the other instruments, it's more unusual. Once a female musician steps outside the 'appropriate' instruments, the numbers drop off rapidly. Female vocalists aren't especially unusual, but are often ruthlessly critiqued. When I teach, women are almost never anything but vocalists. And, just last week when doing an experimental spoken word improvisation, a woman tried drumming, but was moved off immediately for the next piece. The man who replaced her wasn't even better than me, but it was the first time he'd participated, so was left in situ. I have so often been the only woman on the bill, or one of two or three on the tourbus, I don't even notice anymore. Bizarre, since I started in an all female band.

I normally write my post Skype blog when the impressions are new and strong. This time, I had to wait for the impressions to die off a bit, so I could find something positive and relevant to say.

Onwards and upwards

In Solidarity Sister!

I don't know if any of you have joined the Students Union? It's hard sometimes to feel part of a student body when you are literally miles apart. Apropos of nothing, I thought I would post about a fellow student, Sophie Scholl. Some of you may know of her, some not. She wasn't a student at Middlesex, she studied at the Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich. Sophie, along with her brother, Hans, was convicted of treason for distributing anti war leaflets on campus. Like the victims of the Kent State massacre in 1970, she and her brother also died. They were guillotined. The year was 1943.

As part of my career, I have often been a dissident of some sort. Being a woman, being a woman of colour, having and stating an opinion; all of these things, in some places and times, would have caused me great problems and put my life, let alone my liberty in danger. Indeed, they still might in some parts of the world. The fact that I enjoy the freedoms which are a touchstone for me, has literally been paid for by the blood of others. Every day, therefore, it behoves me to be brave. To say what I believe to be true and to take chances, rather than walk the safer path, in my thinking and writing that is. Sadly, I'm still not a superhero and when my pants are worn outside my tights, it's by accident, not part of my costume.

This course is an intellectual challenge. We must think for ourselves and create new paths, that others may follow and build on the work we do. We are making history and our opportunities must not be squandered.

Prior Learning Skype Tutorial

So pleased it was a 'cameras off' Skype tutorial. Tired. In my pyjamas. Not used to thinking constructively this early in the morning; I'm usually on autopilot. I see why regular students don't get to lectures. Although, most of them have come from school, so are more prepared.

We talked about Areas Of Learning essays and what they should contain. Once again, I'm a little shaken by the enormity of what I have agreed to undertake. Hopefully, at some point, I shall feel less so. Funny what you end up discussing. The psychology of being a backing singer. Something I understand acutely, as band politics are often like walking a tightrope. Now I need to get my head around it as something I have actually learned. Of course I have and now I shall document it as a valid area of study. It is, after all, knowledge that can be passed on. Finding academic references might be tricky, though. I shall do my best to look around. Tried Google Scholar to no real avail, but sometimes it's about learning to ask the right questions. I'm sure there'll be music journos who have written on the subject. That would be a start.

Let's see what I can pull together. I haven't written much more than emails in so long. I think I may enjoy unlocking the muse once again. Soon find out!

Help!

Module One Skype Sesh

I was asked to write about why blogs are important. Up until a few days ago, I felt they were a giant waste of time, especially my time. All seemed a bit too touchy feely - I'm notoriously bad at 'sharing', unless it's just sharing my opinion. I still struggle to read the long ones; even with the wizard 'read it for you' software, I still need the 'pay attention' software. However, when writing, I've managed to look at it like a scaled up Facebook post - something I also have to do which sometimes irritates. So, I'm trying to make sense, say what I mean, yet remain concise. I do the rambling and moaning in my Reflective Journal.

And so, why did I change my opinion somewhat? A couple of days ago there was another Skype session on knowing and learning. I wrote my blog quite quickly, so my reflections were immediate. I didn't read what anybody else had written first, so it contained only what had stayed with me personally. Then I read Helen's blog and commented after Jesse. This lead me to reading his blog, which, fortunately, contained all the information I had forgotten. I left a comment, explaining I, too, had looked up the new word 'ideokinetic'. I made a barely thought out comment and had a lightbulb moment. "Aha, that's why we do it!" The circle was squared, it all became clear, the scales fell from my eyes and various other tired analogies. The process had brought me to a point of understanding which would have evaded me, had I not been required to participate.

Further to this, Adesola explained that our blogs serve as source material for the Module One essay. They provide a commentary and document progress as we go further into this term's enquiry. States of mind, thoughts and ideas that otherwise may have been forgotten or overlooked are laid down and provide a sort of road map of our learning. Still struggling with the contemporary notion of 'learning' being a thing and not an action. It's a process.

I forwent my Jazz Tap class to join in. Somehow I didn't regret it. Hmmm...