All At 'C' - Confused

So I joined a Zoom about the MORE form. It was mostly for Module 2, but I thought it never hurts to have another look and a reminder. Should have goaded me into action, but it hasn't.

Then there was the academic writing Zoom. Useful, but I'm still unconvinced about the use of exclusionary language. If I write about music using that vocabulary, anyone I know connected with music is likely to say "huh?" But hey, I don't make the rules. As I've said before, I just need a glossary. That way I can write in English and then swap out some of the vocabulary.

But enough of that. What's confusing me the most is the blasted website. Things I should be able to find are just not there. I search and follow links down blind alleys and...nothing. If I used a PC instead of a Mac would my entire experience be different? I rather think it would. Hours spent signing in. Leave loads of tabs open, as I may never again find the right pages. Just where the recorded Zoom calls are, I really couldn't say, I've never found them. Presumably they're on a page that won't open in Safari.

Fed up.

Yoohoo! Back In The Saddle.

Missed the first meeting of the new year. It was on Zoom, I was looking for Skype. Oh well.

So Zoom, then. I've spent days of my life during the last year on Zoom. Funny to see everyone sat watching, caught looking. We had a module 3 meet. I confess I didn't share what I was on about. I did speak up, but only in answer to something someone else said.

Quick explanation, I'm a musician. I've danced as a hobby, which means not all that's talked about goes over my head. I've studied different techniques and I even did Laban Notation, when I was at school, for my Modern Educational Dance exam. However, I am a musician. It's what I've done for over forty years. I'm the middle one in my family's three generations of musicians. A griot dynasty.

My inquiry is called 'What Is Soul?', with the subtext being 'and what is the language we use to describe it?' I am talking to various experts in different fields of the music business, from vocalists to sound engineers, to see if they have a definition and, if so, how they describe it. Analysis is, for me, the most difficult part of the whole task. What conclusions to draw, what those conclusions mean. There will be many hours staring at a blank page. Hopefully, it won't stay that way.

Sunday discussion. I know I saw the time, as I read the post. The page where the link was had a different time. I looked it up the night before, as logging in is such a palaver. So, at the time stated on the 'link' page I logged in. Nothing. After a few goes I waited. Then I went back and discovered it had already happened. I think it may have been for dancers above my pay grade, so probably for the best in the end! Funny how things work out.

Call Me Miss Communication!

I had to calm down before I could write this. I'm a lyricist. Words are important to me and because I have studied a few foreign languages, so are the meanings of those words. In order to translate from one language to another, it is vital to understand what is meant, what is intended. I find imprecision irritating. Consequently, the notion of finding your way whilst talking, even though I do it myself, is uncomfortable. 

I feel just as strongly about opinions. It is not necessary to have an opinion on every topic. However, once you have drawn your conclusions and embarked on a direction, it should not be taken lightly. It is absolutely fine to change your opinion. Indeed, it is vital, it is how we grow intellectually. Have an opinion. Own it. Support it with ideas and conclusions. Should a better, more plausible idea come to light, by all means adopt it. 

As a rule, I am not an 'either/or' person. However, presenting one argument, changing direction when challenged and then returning to a previous position without explanation is ridiculous. I am used to presenting cogent arguments that can stand up to inspection. Safe to say I seem to be entirely out on my own in that respect. It's like being a musician in a sea of dance specialists. Using the same language but almost deliberately misunderstanding. 

One day this course may have more non dancers which will ease communication. Cross fertilisation often occurs when people from different places and traditions meet and enjoy a common activity. I recently made a film about just that, which I'll post at the end. If we were meeting face to face I think that notion would have more success, for me anyway. As it is, I find I end most discussion groups with a mixture of frustration and irritation.

Here's the link, should you wish to watch:

The Venues That Changed Everything

To Be Or Not To Be An Equivocating Iconoclast?

Couldn't get into Sunday's Skype, so was immensely frustrated when I couldn't join this evening's Academic Writing Skype. Though on the outbound journey I had continued to take part in an NHS governors' meeting on Teams, Skype was not willing to offer me the same courtesy on my return. Joining half way through was better than nothing. I did at least get something of an answer. 

Music writers, the ones I have read, don't use academic language to speak of. Peter Thomas suggested some work written by a Music lecturer at Mdx. Not any different, but I did get a lead from it on Google Scholar. I'll spend some time with the texts I found tomorrow. I then remembered I have three music-related friends who have PhDs, so looked up some of their work. Once again, it's not language they use. 

I hold no fear of complicated language, if I could find it relating to my subject, I would happily use it. I think my only hope is via Somatics. I'm sure therein will yield a rich seam of complex language, even if the discourse is relatively simplistic. 

I do find myself torn. The notion of dressing uncomplicated ideas in complex language looks more like self aggrandisement than good communication. Peter Thomas said there are differing schools of thought surrounding definitions of some of the academic terminology. This then goes against the idea of using this language for specificity. It does not make for ease of communication if I am then providing my own definitions. However, he did say that it is important to use appropriate language for the subject about which you are writing. If that can be agreed upon, I shall take that and run with it.

Iconoclast it is then. Unequivocally. 

A Thorn Among Roses

This evening we had a Skype with Module 3 focus. Long silences, which seem to be par for the course. It seems the point was to have us understand why we use the language of research. When explained at the end it made perfect sense. I did feel slightly cheated though. However, I accept that this is the way information is imparted and not everybody speaks another language, so the following analogy would be lost. 

When my children were at school, the household language was a kind of Franglais. We all spoke French and English, but some things were described more succinctly in one of the two, so we favoured that. French nouns in English sentences were commonplace. As the children grew older and their world became more Anglophone, English dominated. Adesola was talking nuance. The English word 'kitchen' and the French word 'cuisine' are both describing the same room. However, the perception is different. A kitchen is somewhere that work is done, cooking, cleaning and so on. La cuisine is where recipes are dreamt up and meals are created. Art versus toil.

The language of research is used as a standardised form of describing the process. I would've accepted that upfront. Now, of course, I've got to go out and find a research glossary, so I can transmogrify anything I write. I have been reading, but I haven't come across anything that encompasses my enquiry using language I wouldn't use myself. Suggestions appreciated. Any treatise on the language used to describe Soul (music) not in plain English? Anyone?

Screen If You Wanna Go Faster

On Monday this week I had seven (7!) 'virtual' meetings; telecons, video calls and plain old phone calls. In the world 'before', that would have been a ridiculous notion. And, in reality, it was indeed ridiculous. One call ran over and then I was late to the next two. Mind you, the second of those I had little interest in and it finished on time, so...result! It seems so long since the Skype on Sunday, I can't really remember what I said. In my journal I wrote there were silences, so, once I'd finished my dinner I joined in to fill the void. Whatever I said I believed at the time, yeronna.

I've just commented on Adesola's post about Connectivism. Social media for me comes with the territory. I can cope with it, as I'm a shouty person with opinions. I try hard not to make stupid statements, or to post things as fact if I have no other source. However, I saw this cartoon...

And this seems to be how we draw conclusions these days. Boris does badly at PMQs because, apart from ineptitude, he doesn't have his 'chaps' in the seats behind 'hear, hear-ing' him on. It's social distancing's fault. The misnomer irritates me and I've probably said it before. We are, of course, physically distancing. All this screen time is our effort to avoid social distancing, it's the antidote. It reminds me of an Asimov story, which I think was The Naked Sun. It's science fiction, at least it was when it was written. People stay in their homes and 'socialise' by a kind of projection. The end of your room disappears and is replaced with your friend's room with your friend in it. Like a whole wall is a giant Zoom meeting with one other person, or several. 

Only one Zoom today, but it was being recorded so I had to 'dress up'. I've really got out of the habit and it seemed such a faff. With Black History Month approaching, it seems I'm more 'gob for hire' than 'flavour of the month', but I'll get over it. It's not like I've got much else on.

I'm back teaching next week, doing a face to face class. To be honest I'm a bit anxious about it. We'll see how it goes, fingers crossed, sanitiser at the ready. Don your masks, get set...go!

It's OK, I've Done This Before!

I'm getting straight in with my first blog of the new term. Partly so I don't forget what just happened and partly so I don't forget. It seems a long time since the start of last term. I was in Australia for one or two Skypes. Mind you, I've participated going through security at airports and hotel rooms more than once. I'm fairly certain the current pandemic will ensure my continued presence in my own home. I'm a singer and it's not just my international gigs that have been cancelled, they all have. Just out of interest and by way of encouraging interaction, what's happened to everyone else? As we're all over the world, I'm interested if anyone is getting to perform or teach at all?

Lots of information was imparted during the Skype and though I've definitely been there before, the memory's a bit hazy on detail. So it was welcome. Since we're all based outside the university, we can't help but draw on our experience, both in our own lives and our practice. Reflection is, for me, a very important part of this course. It has become more obviously important as time goes on. I'm in Module 3, so nearing the end of my studies, hopefully. I say that as I have no idea what the immediate future holds. None of us have. But I'm beginning to feel I know what I am doing. I may feel differently with a week to go until deadline, of course.

One thing that was touched on that I feel it's necessary to address is the notion that we are living in a 'post truth' society. History has always been written by the victors, so there is always another story to be told. We are beginning to hear these other stories and that is a good thing. However, when that 'post truth' notion is used to describe science, I have a problem. Scientific knowledge is not immutable. As you uncover more about an unknown, facts change. What was true beforehand may no longer hold. This doesn't mean we can throw the baby out with the bathwater. I'm putting it out there that my tolerance of crackpot, tinfoil hat theories has worn thin. I have to engage in social media, it's part of my job. The nonsense I have come across is startling. So people, think what you like, but please don't invite me into your wardrobe. I don't believe in Narnia. I'll always try to be nice. At first.

If you want to know more about me, here are a couple of recent(ish) links. The first is when at the height of #BLM protests the university posted a video of a single we released during lockdown, which was good of them, here it is:

'Stand Together' - Dub Pistols ft Rhoda Dakar

And this is how I've been amusing myself with no gigs, my radio show 'Pork Pie & Mash Up'. Produced at home, because the studio was shut. Though that may be changing:

Pork Pie & Mash Up - September

So that's me. What's your story?

Sunday Morning Skype. Early.

9am Sunday morning. No evening option and I'm not a morning person. First Skype from my bed. The over arching theme was 'change'. As soon as the Skype session was over, all I could think of was how many psychotherapists it takes to change a lightbulb. The answer should be one, but the lightbulb has to want to change. My inner cynic says if psychotherapists can't even do that, they should call an electrician.

I have been trying to challenge my bias against spirituality, which I always take to be part of a system of faith. Under this umbrella I would also toss anything you have to believe in for it to work; psychotherapy, mindfulness and Feldenkrais are right there with major world religions. It seems effecting change on long established value systems will require robust and cogent arguments. These I have yet to encounter. Possibly a blind alley, so I'll move on.

After Module One I don't know that my practice itself changed, but the value I placed on it certainly did. My experience really was worth something and maybe I did walk a little taller. I've never been one to rest on my laurels and have always espoused the 'onwards and upwards' maxim. But, pausing a moment to take stock is not an act of vanity. I feel the whole world is doing so right now. So many of us in lockdown, isolation and this new phrase, social distancing. What we mean is, of course, physical distancing. Does using the phrase 'social distancing' affect our concept of what we're doing? It doesn't change what we're doing, in reality, but perhaps if we used the phrase 'physical distancing' people would grasp it more readily. Anyway, many of us currently have time to reflect on the big picture. What sort of world will we have after the pandemic? What sort of world do we want?

Bizarrely, though I have had lots of gigs and teaching cancelled, I seem to have too much to do. Nothing's changed there then. I recently moved and so am trying to find a new corner to work in. However, 'stuff' has to be sorted through and let go of first. And I still have a drum kit in my living room.

Does the lightbulb want to change? Get a grip, it's a lightbulb.

Post Module 2 Skype

Yesterday I had a plethora of information about Module 2. In the morning I had a Skype session with Adesola, my supervisor, and in the evening there was an open Skype with a Module 2 focus. I have to say I now have a much better handle on how to go forward.

The MORE form looks very official and very daunting. It's set up as a safeguarding tool both for researchers and those who may be included in a study, to avoid any unnecessary harm. It is slanted towards science subjects, but does cover safeguarding vulnerable participants in the arts sector as well. My form is mostly finished, as I started it last term. I had to defer on account of being on tour for so long. It does take a long time, but isn't nearly as complicated as it seems at first. My advice is get stuck in and get it done. Planning your research project is much more work and will take longer.

So that's me, head down, getting on with it. I am, however, looking forward to the Community Skypes, which I hope will keep me on track. I know that those on Module 3 have a group chat and plan group Skypes. Perhaps this is something we could also consider? Although this is a distance learning degree, I went along to the Hendon campus to catch one of the Module 3 presentations last year. It was good to put faces to names, but, more importantly, speak to some of the students and pick their brains a bit. I know this won't be possible for everyone, but the more contact we have with each other, the better, I think. It's a virtual classroom, but a classroom nonetheless.

See y'all at the next one!

♫ Looking Down On Creation ♬♪

It's The Carpenters, to save you wondering. Yes, Karen Carpenter had a wonderful voice, no I didn't like the songs. It's an oblique reference to a topic that arose in this evening's Skype Sunday. I admit to zoning out here and there, but one thing that reeled me in was the discussion of bias. My own bias is that opinions are a good thing. Inevitably, your bias is influenced by your upbringing, lifestyle, social status and many other things and your opinions derive therefrom. However, whilst always acknowledging my bias, my opinions can change a great deal. For me, this is because opinions depend on information and evolving circumstances. I cannot understand why they would not. Retaining the same opinion, given new, pertinent information, is idiotic. That also is my opinion. I have a declared bias against wilful ignorance.

Adesola and Helen joined us for the second half of the Skype session. This was a new arrangement, to me anyway. There was a lot of talk about research and Adesola questioned the relationship between bias and control. For me it works thus; first acknowledge your bias, then accept it will influence how you react to information, however do not let it stifle the responses of others. Do not consciously let your bias control the outcome of your research. Unconscious bias? Who knows? I'll do my best!

We also touched on the current global pandemic and what we can do to assuage the isolation of many of us trapped at home. Apart from the usual instability of freelancers, this illness has wiped out work for many of us, or is about to. Having recourse to an online study community will at least keep our minds occupied. The suggestion was to have more informal Skype sessions. I will certainly look forward to this, as guilt will force me to do my bit and keep me on my toes.

So, with my MORE form put to bed, I think, next stop essays. There are always drawers to sort out, so I can always find a distraction, but I'm determined not to leave it to the last minute. Again. Pray for me, Karen!

Getting Back In The Saddle

Although it wasn't really that long ago, last term seems so far away. I spent most of it on the road and, consequently, here I am revisiting a module I really had no time to get to. I remember trying to contribute to a Skype session from an airport security queue, which of course went so much faster than it would've done, had I not been on the phone... So, here's to getting back in the saddle and not falling at any fences this time.

When I get a moment, I'll have a good read of the handbook to remind myself of the task ahead. I've done some reading and fleshed out some ideas, so I'm out of the gate. Let's go with the riding analogy until I really am flogging a dead horse. Time management, or at least having time to manage is my goal for the next few weeks. I'll be home in a couple of weeks, so will try in earnest not to leave the country for the next few months. That should see me break this module in and before long I shall be on the home straight. Too much? Nah, or neigh? No, even. Early essay planning. The MORE form takes longer than you think, beware. And taking my own advice, I shall use some of my time with my supervisor earlier rather than later.

So, those are all my good intentions. Let's see how I do! I'll leave you with the backdrop to the last few days here in Oz. See you at the finishing post!

Post Skype - MORE Form

Never having been backward in coming forward, I feel I did a lot of talking during this session. It's great to be in a place where things are beginning to make sense, however, I do feel we could more usefully have had this discussion a couple of weeks earlier. I suppose the idea is to wait until everyone's made an attempt at the MORE form, so we all know to what we're referring.

I have been so busy of late, that I can't really remember what else we talked about, save for the forms being more slanted towards science than art. However, how information is stored and how interviewees are anonymised is something I really had not considered. Suddenly, it's all very serious!

Post Skype - Module Two (DAN4630)

Well! A strange Wednesday evening at home, going back out on tour tomorrow. Last bit of quiet for a while. However, another breakthrough. I started in on 'Intelligence In The Flesh', recommended by Helen, so some ideas had been running around. Up to this session, I had no idea what I would or could make the subject of my inquiry. Whilst I was listening to others speaking, I came up with two possibilities. Two!! Like buses!! I may not end up using either of them, but having the ideas feels like a relief. Firstly, "when considering the quality of a voice, what is soul?" And secondly, continuing a subject broached in one of my AOL essays, "when being a backing singer, how do I 'dial down' my performance?"

Sorted! I'm on my way. Just a question of all the 'other stuff' I haven't quite got a handle on. Something I do need to turn around is my usual attitude, in that I am used to providing evidence to support my arguments. The notion of asking a question to which I don't already know the answer is, for me, counter-intuitive. I am used to advocating on behalf of an idea or an organisation. What I have to do is wonder. This is something I do passively, whilst I'm doing something else. To actively wonder about something, is new. An example is how I came up with inquiry ideas, whilst I was listening to others talking. Focussing my full attention on an unknown is different for me. Perhaps this isn't quite what I have to do. I'm sure somebody will tell me. Anyway, as an experiment, it would be no bad thing.

Not so worried about methodology. I'm confident I can provide sound arguments for however I choose to proceed. Back in my comfort zone. Now I've got to get on with it. During a tour! Wish me luck...

Post Skype - Theories And Frameworks

I 'sat out' most of this call, as nothing seemed to include me. Whilst I was listening, I glanced back at this topic from last term and I had had the same response. I am a singer in a band. I have studied some dance, so I know what others are talking about when they say Graham technique or Cunningham technique, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with my practice. If you want to sing in a band, you join one. That's it. No years of study, not actively anyway. Join a band and be a singer. And, abracadabra, that's what you are.

These days I could do a degree in being a singer in a band. I could achieve a BMus, a Modern Music degree. Part of my impetus for doing this course myself was that I wasn't sure students were getting a fair deal from their BMus and I wanted to do some lecturing. I wasn't considered because I didn't have a degree. I had 50 years' experience of singing in public, but no degree. I had been in the music business for 40 years, but no degree. I have gigged all over the UK, in Europe and in the USA, but no degree. I have seven gold and one silver record, but no degree. Alright then, I'll get a degree.

I can't imagine what 'rules' young vocalists are taught, but I had no teacher. Along the way I took a few singing lessons, just to 'make sure', but can't say I changed anything. I had probably learned more from doing youth theatre, where I learned to project my voice and stand in the light. Doing dance classes from an early age made me aware of where I was on stage, in relation to others, and to smile at the audience. That was all the stagecraft I started with.

Anyway, back to the Skype call. I managed to communicate to Helen that my practice has no predetermined theory or framework, so how could I apply this idea. She said what I do is intuitive and that, in itself, stands as a theory/framework. Hurrah! There are even books! An epiphany! I was, for most of the call, thinking here's an hour I'll never get back. So pleased I persevered and spoke up. Got one of the books. I'm a slow reader and I'm back on tour in three days, where it's always noisy, but I'll do my best.

Result!

How??

First Skype of the new term. A brief few minutes in the security queue of an American airport. I don't remember which one. Then almost a whole hour one morning in San Diego. The fear's beginning to set in. How am I going to get this done, when I'm constantly on the move? This tourbus has an upstairs lounge, away from the engine, so is not so loud. It's the middle of the night, just me and the driver awake.

I'm already worried about what I'm to investigate. Ideas may come, but they may come too late. I'm interested in many things, but not sure they would be worthy of investigation at this level. I remember feeling at sea at the beginning of last term and then I finally got a handle on it. Hopefully that will come.

Just searched for this blog on my phone and realised I hadn't actually posted it. It seemed too short, shallow and unfinished. All I can do right now is read and think. Hopefully help will soon be at hand, or enlightenment will descend from wherever it now resides.

Looking For Ideas

Two days ago I had the opportunity to go to an introduction class to Feldenkrais Method. On more than one occasion, granted maybe only two, I have wondered what it was all about. I thought perhaps it might be akin to Alexander Technique, as it was being offered by the Musicians Union. It's there in the back of my mind that I need ideas for my inquiry, so a bit of exploration is on the cards.

Perhaps it has more resonance if you're injured, or have some movement impairment, or are looking for a solution, or just want to believe. I'm not a believer in anything except keeping your skepticism in a handy pocket. Lying on the floor on a thin piece of foam makes my backside numb. It's not comfortable. My fault, I should have got up and walked around. As usual, when I complain about something, all the others find their voices. Not just me then. I did the exercises too quickly. I zoned out through boredom. MY BUM HURT!! I understand slowing a movement down helps you deconstruct it, but it took too long and we did the same thing too many times.

I asked a few questions at the end. I will make an effort to read a little about Feldenkrais. The explanation sounded a bit like Mindfulness, I said. Apparently, Mindfulness was invented (she may have said developed) by a Feldenkrais practitioner. Of course it was, I said, as skeptic. Just what the world needs, a faith-based movement practice. "It's not faith-based!" "But you believe it works. The very definition!" It's not for me.

I didn't do any research beforehand, but even a cursory glance at Wikipedia leads you to the conclusion their claims don't stand up. All I can say is, if people will pay you for classes, good luck to you! Personally, I've sucked too many eggs by now to keep having someone teach me.

By the way, if anyone knows of any more of these movement practices as complementary therapies, I'd be interested in the tip. I started Yoga as a child, as my dad did it. I've tried Alexander Technique when I did youth theatre and it seemed legit. There must be more of them.

Post Skype - Communicating Ideas

There were two things I took away from this session. The first was focus, or lack thereof. I was struggling to pay attention. I have an awful lot going on in my life at the moment and couldn't help feeling my time would've been better spent elsewhere. Too late, I was in. The second thing was what I said when I was required to speak. I talked about the RPL essays and how I have never before been required to back up what I said from traceable sources. I understand entirely why this is done, but in all honesty, find it incredibly tiresome. It stops me writing. It stops me progressing. I don't enjoy it at all. It feels pedestrian to have to constantly find a source for an idea I know to be true. Will I get used to it? I may become resigned to it.

I scribbled in my journal and realised I hadn't done so for two weeks. Listening to others, I feel there's something I'm missing. To me it's a chore. Perhaps I just don't have the time. And blogging? I have writing to do, I don't have time for this. I understand it's supposed to help. Back in February, I had a revelation. I blogged about it and just read it back, but whatever was so apparent then, escapes me now. Is it supposed to engender community? Fortunately, I have studied dance, otherwise I really wouldn't make sense of the conversation or get the references. But I'm not a dancer. I'm not part of the community.

Perhaps it's a bridge too far.

Peeved.

Post Skype - Reflection And Ethical Considerations

Skype discussion this evening, which I only just made, as my iPad keeps logging me out of Skype - gee thanks! Reflection didn't seem to get a whole lot of time, but perhaps that was my selective attention. I also had to take a call, so may have missed a few minutes. I'm sure I must reflect on my performances, but instinctively know what I should've done better and hold that. Not especially interested in other people's views. I get instant audience reaction, so 'notes' hold no real power for me. Reviews I try not to read anyway. The music business is not like the theatre, where you get helpful 'notes' from the director. I'm the director. If something goes wrong, it's my job to cover. People I respect may tell me if they really liked something, but in my world of fragile egos, nobody would ever tell you what you did wrong...a second time, anyway. I am, of course, my biggest critic, so try not to hold on to the bad stuff, as it could totally undermine the next performance. My mind is constantly churning all the poor decisions I've ever made in my life. It's not useful to add fuel to the fire.

And so on to ethics. My career is practically built on the moral high ground. There are plenty of people who can write and sing love songs, as it's a universal feeling. Unless you're a sociopath or a psychopath, of course, but they tend to have other careers. In my lyrics and my actions I have campaigned against racism, rape, apartheid, greedy landlords and gentrification. And Tories. But that's a given. If I suddenly were to go against or ignore my previous 'truths', I would lose my place in the business and also the world. Ethics are at the very core of what I do as a songwriter, performer and activist. Without my ideals, my ethics, I am just another woman singing about love in the same old way. I have no problem with love songs and I do write them, but I also seek to address the entire human condition from my standpoint. After this, as I said in the Skype meeting (what do you call it?), there are other ethical considerations. Where to play gigs, which countries to visit, which companies to work for, which publications to speak to. Do you embrace the beast and spit in his eye? Sometimes. It's a moral tightrope.

For example, I was DJing on the west coast of the US last year the day after (yet another) mass shooting. I spoke to the audience, expressing my disbelief at their gun laws and then played an acoustic lyrical-rewrite of a well known civil rights song. Afterwards, the audience applauded. It was the right thing to do, whether it baited the NRA supporters or not. Not the best version ever, but the right version at the right time.

Listen here, if you wish:  https://youtu.be/p1daKanRE54

There was also a brief discussion of ethics in teaching. I'm clear on what is important for me. I can't imagine anyone would employ me thinking their ethical code would supersede my own. I like to think I am employed because of, rather than in spite of who I am. As with dance, to be good at music you must practice. It's said it takes 10,000 hours to become a competent musician. So, it's not easy and you can always improve. A current over-used phrase is 'being the best version of yourself'. As a goal for an artist, that is it. My mantra to my students is, "music is work - the harder you work, the more fun you'll have". I don't expect my students, many of whom are unwell, to be brilliant. I do, however, expect 100% effort. I believe firmly that people rise to expectation. My tears when they give me all 100% confirm my faith in them.

In short: reflection - nein danke, ethics - a big yes from me.

Sunday Skype - Frameworks And Theories

For me this Skype session was alright. Not really of great interest. Not every discussion is. I don't mind that. However, when you attend a class that doesn't really engage you, you just go home. Here, of course, I'm obliged to offer my reflection. Inevitably, dance not being my art form, I didn't identify with the notion of the theory. I did offer a couple of interjections, but not from my own practice. The subject, frameworks and theories, with regard to what I do, is still a mystery really. I'm not sure at all how it relates to me. Understanding may come. There is no over-arching technique. There are style choices, but that's all. Perhaps it's not even relevant to what I do.

One strand of discussion was about the participation of adolescents in dance. Whether the fall off during early teenage years was due to peer pressure, reigning in societal norms. Well, since music is an absolute sausage fest anyway, societal norms are still almost never broken. Women participate in music largely as singers, or playing the gender appropriate instruments such as keyboard, saxophone, violin and guitar. No eyebrows are ever raised at female keyboard players. With the other instruments, it's more unusual. Once a female musician steps outside the 'appropriate' instruments, the numbers drop off rapidly. Female vocalists aren't especially unusual, but are often ruthlessly critiqued. When I teach, women are almost never anything but vocalists. And, just last week when doing an experimental spoken word improvisation, a woman tried drumming, but was moved off immediately for the next piece. The man who replaced her wasn't even better than me, but it was the first time he'd participated, so was left in situ. I have so often been the only woman on the bill, or one of two or three on the tourbus, I don't even notice anymore. Bizarre, since I started in an all female band.

I normally write my post Skype blog when the impressions are new and strong. This time, I had to wait for the impressions to die off a bit, so I could find something positive and relevant to say.

Onwards and upwards

In Solidarity Sister!

I don't know if any of you have joined the Students Union? It's hard sometimes to feel part of a student body when you are literally miles apart. Apropos of nothing, I thought I would post about a fellow student, Sophie Scholl. Some of you may know of her, some not. She wasn't a student at Middlesex, she studied at the Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich. Sophie, along with her brother, Hans, was convicted of treason for distributing anti war leaflets on campus. Like the victims of the Kent State massacre in 1970, she and her brother also died. They were guillotined. The year was 1943.

As part of my career, I have often been a dissident of some sort. Being a woman, being a woman of colour, having and stating an opinion; all of these things, in some places and times, would have caused me great problems and put my life, let alone my liberty in danger. Indeed, they still might in some parts of the world. The fact that I enjoy the freedoms which are a touchstone for me, has literally been paid for by the blood of others. Every day, therefore, it behoves me to be brave. To say what I believe to be true and to take chances, rather than walk the safer path, in my thinking and writing that is. Sadly, I'm still not a superhero and when my pants are worn outside my tights, it's by accident, not part of my costume.

This course is an intellectual challenge. We must think for ourselves and create new paths, that others may follow and build on the work we do. We are making history and our opportunities must not be squandered.